When Friendship Hurts: The Hidden Cost of Co-Rumination [Student Voices]

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STUDENT VOICES
By Nicolette Scarlotta

Friendship may not always be as beneficial as it seems. A study published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence examined whether friendship helps mitigate the adverse effects that gendered racial discrimination has on mental health in young women of color. The study, titled “The Role of Friendship in Mediating and Moderating the Relationship Between Exposure to Gendered Racism and Mental Health among Young Women of Color,” was completed by researchers at Fordham University, Celia B. Fisher, PhD and Xiangyu Tao, PhD.

A recent study examined this question among young women of color who had experienced gendered racism, which is discrimination that targets both racial and gender identities. Researchers surveyed 341 participants between the ages of 18 and 24, including Asian, Black, and Latina women, all residing in the U.S. Each participant had a close same-gender, same-race friend, allowing researchers to explore how friendships shape coping and mental health in the context of discrimination. The survey assessed exposure to in-person and online gendered racial discrimination, content of friendship conversations (including co-rumination against gendered racism), perceived friendship intimacy and support, and mental health effects (including depressive symptoms, anxiety symptoms, and substance use as a coping mechanism).

The study focused on a process known as co-rumination, when friends repeatedly discuss and revisit distressing events. Co-rumination can initially begin with good intentions, such as providing validation and social connection. However, it can also amplify stress rather than resolve it. Co-rumination has been linked to higher friendship quality as well as risk for depressive and anxiety symptoms, highlighting its dual nature. Consistent with expectations, women who experienced greater gendered racial discrimination were more likely to co-ruminate with friends about these experiences. Those who co-ruminated also reported higher levels of anxiety, possibly indicating that people who excessively discuss their experienced discrimination with others often feel more stressed or on edge.

Not all conversations about discrimination had negative effects. Empowering conversations with friends (messages related to racial or gender identity empowerment) were not associated with depressive and anxiety symptoms, but were associated with less reliance on substance use as a coping mechanism. It is possible that conversations grounded in empowerment may help promote healthier ways of managing distress, therefore reducing the impulse to use substances. Interestingly, oppression awareness (being aware of racial or gender hardships in daily life) was linked to higher depressive symptoms. This finding highlights a paradox: while awareness of social injustice is important, sustained focus on oppression can contribute to feelings of hopelessness. Surprisingly, friendship intimacy and support did not protect against mental health challenges. When discrimination was accounted for, friendship support was associated with depressive symptoms, possibly indicating that people who experience depressive effects such as hopelessness might rely more on their social connections for emotional support.

The findings reveal the complexity of social coping among young women of color. Talking about discrimination with close friends can be a vital form of connection, but not all conversations are beneficial. Repetitive, emotionally heavy discussions may unintentionally take a mental toll on young women of color. It is important that young women of color are instilled with values such as persistence and empowerment that they can bring into their relationships with friends and foster within their own psyche. The findings from the present study highlight the need for more effective interventions for young women of color who are experiencing the effects of systematic oppression and discrimination within their daily lives.

Reference:
Tao, X., & Fisher, C. B. (2025). The Role of Friendship in Mediating and Moderating the Relationship Between Exposure to Gendered Racism and Mental Health among Young Women of Color. Journal of youth and adolescence54(5), 1281–1300. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-024-02130-3

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